Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Oracle returns

The Oracle and the Great Sage have at last come to an understanding. The Oracle has strongly recommended that the Sage be removed from the Temple and open another blog from the Mystic Cave. The residual flooding from this discussion should recede soon.

The Oracle will now address this week's Seekers.

1. If you marry this man, his behavior will change, but not for the better.

2. If one is a stranger to one's own progeny, then one is only entitled to the same information that would be shared with any other stranger.

3. Even conjoined twins might like separate invitations on occasion.

4. If you press this issue, you will soon know why she is so reluctant, and someone does not wish you to know.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Sage advises a unique Seeker

The Sage is reluctant to take on yet another jilted fiance, but feels that you case is worthy of attention.

The Sage recognizes your hurt and your confusion. Some lesser Advisors might suggest that you find a real dog, as it were, to take up with your former beau, and ensure that he walks in on them. He may then see the consequences of catting around, but I fear that regardless of what you might say or do, he will never change his alley cat behavior. Take solace in the knowledge that even were he to mend his ways, he'll continue to be on the run from the authorities for whatever years he may have left.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Sage takes on Dumb A.. er, Dear Abby

Since the Oracle has not yet escaped, ... er, that is, returned from .. a um, retreat, the Sage will continue to maintain control of Del-Fly.

Our Seekers may be found here.

1. The Sage recognizes that you are fighting against your baseless jealousies. After all, just because your wife cheated on you before doesn't mean she will again. Naturally, she would not want to cancel her plans to go out with her chums just because you have a rare day off. She has obligations to these other souls which obviously are more important than her obligations to you. You need to develop interests of your own. Find a not-too-young, yet shapely, young sitter to come and stay with your children when she is out. If you don't have plans already, perhaps your babysitter will be able to help something come up.

2. The Sage is appalled that you would shop or bake for hours, and still send such thoughtless gifts. You need to apologize to each of the adults to whom you have sent these obviously unwelcome millstones, and inform them that you shall not be abusing them further. To the children whose parents have fortuitously warned you against encumbering the children with such useless trifles, rest assured that children have no taste, and may yet enjoy these trifles you so laboriously have chosen.

Belated Sage

The Sage had difficulty convincing the Oracle to step aside this Thursday. If you experienced high wind or high water as a result of this celestial discussion, rest assured that the situation has been resolved.

The Oracle would like to point out to all of this week's Seekers that those who look for something unseemly, are certain to find it.

1. The Sage understands your problem. Begin to call your fiance by the name of an old flame, preferably one he knows you had a serious relationship with. Enlist the assistance of his brother-in-law too, while you are at it. At worst, the four of you can play post office together, and with luck, you can break up two relationships at one time.

2. The Sage knows that lesser Advisors might suggest you put the painting on loan at a local museum, where it can be enjoyed and will be well taken care of. However, the Sage suggests that you hang the picture on a prominent wall with a headshot photo of yourself hanging directly above it. When someone asks if you are the subject of both pictures, you can tell them that you only wish you had a body like that.

3. The Sage believes that you should rectify this situation as soon as possible. This was your golden opportunity to paint yourself in the best light imaginable, while painting her father as the lout which he surely must be. Don't worry whether she might someday discover the truth and hold it against you. She'll just tell your grandchildren that you are dead.

4. The Sage recognizes that this is not about Granny, but about the fact that you are in need of an excuse not to take her shopping any more. When you enter the store, take Granny to the area where she is most likely to graze. Excuse yoursself for a moment on the ruse of collecting your Green shopping bags or some similar excuse. Locate the store's security guard or manager, and point out with horror that "that old woman" is stealing from them. Repeat at each store you take her to. Eventually, she will be banned from buying groceries anywhere, and you can order her supplies on-line to be delivered.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

International intrigue

Today's seeker can be found here.

The Oracle sees a man with a double life, a friend for home and a friend for away. Carrying on a long distance relationship - across two continents, no less - can be very difficult. Doing so while attempting to keep the hometown sweetheart in one's fold can be even more so.

If you visit this man unexpectedly at his parents' home, a relationship will end.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Apologies from the Oracle.

The Oracle had hoped to have published several orations by now. However, while we various advisors are "for entertainment only", the Lesser Advisors are being sought by those with serious problems best dealt with by professionals. The Oracle prefers not to comment on those queries, as certain issues cannot be considered "entertaining."

Additionally, those Seekers whom the Oracle has located who may be commented on tend to be on sites which requires subscriptions. The Oracle does not wish to endorse the concept that Seekers and Inquirers must give personal information to multiple sites in order to benefit from the Oracle's wisdom.

The Oracle has sent out the Acolytes from DelFly to locate Seekers worthy of the Oracle's attention. Be patient.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Flighty Sage

By popular demand (Who is to say that one person's opinion is any less important than everyone else's?), the Sage has been convinced to end the sabbatical early and to emerge from the Mystic Cave to enlighten today's Seekers.
Please review these Seeker's queries here.

Finished? Good. The Oracle will now step aside so that the Sage may dispense this week's tidbits of wisdom.

1. The Sage understands that your boyfriend was merely curious as to where you learned these exotic techniques, which his own prior dalliances had not included. The Sage recommends that you entice him with the prospect of even more lurid relations in the future, by confessing to a long and adventurous series of lovers. Be certain to keep notes, so that you are not caught in any contradictory tales which might prompt distrust.

2. The Sage recognizes that whether you acquiesce or not, one child will be forced to endure a bit of confusion. The Sage suggests that you agree that your two children should not be subjected to the pain of hearing one person addressed by two names. Inform your in-law that when his child refers to you and your spouse as "Mommy" and "Daddy", and to his own parents as "Aunt Alexandria" and "Uncle Horatio," as your child does now, then you will teach your child to use the term "Grandma" when referring to her "Nana."

3. The Sage has noticed the many young adults with fine educations in the workforce, and is pleased to see such high standards being upheld. Encourage your boyfriend's brother to try to get the best eduation which can help meet his goals in the future. Additionally, have your paramour request from their father help to finance a long hoped-for Doctorate. Just be sure to have him make this request after he has asked his father whether his father wishes to have fries with his order.

4. The Sage has long known that what goes around, comes around. Have your newlywed friend send each of these individuals, well acquainted or not, invitations to a baby shower for you. Make sure that they know of the sizeable admission fee your friend intends to charge, to help pay for her own gift to you.

That's all for today, Followers. The Sage hopes you each will return to DelFly again for future installments.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Greetings, Seekers!

Permit me to introduce myself. I am the Oracle at DelFly. No, my name is not important. I will appear in this spot from time to time to enlighten Seekers of the Way. Some of these Seekers will have consulted lesser Advisors on other websites. However, for the Path to the Way, one must surely consult the Oracle.

The Oracle will, from time to time, be unable to break away from the Oracle's musings, in which case the Oracle will provide a guest Advisor, such as the Great Sage, late of brief tenure on the Fray at

Feel free to join in and discuss with the Oracle whatever is on your mind. You may not get the answer that you desire, but it should be fun.