Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Sage considers disturbed friends and family

Today's Seekers may be found here:

1. The first Seeker is married to a gentleman who believes that children should not be reared in a home in which there are no arms for protection; whereas, the Seeker herself believes such arms would be too dangerous to have in a home with children.

The Sage fears that this may be an irreconcilable difference. It is true that some homes with weapons have managed to turn away or disable intruders, but many homes also have endured tradegy when curious children managed to find carefully or carelessly hidden weapons. If no agreement can be reached, even with the assistance of a trained marital mediator, it may be necessary to cut losses and to discuss this dilemma with the next potential life partner.

2. The next Seeker was recently wed, an occasion at which one guest attacked and hospitalized another.

The Sage believes that you are overly concerned with etiquette in light of this fiasco. You are not responsible for an apology to guests who had only to witness this ordeal, as you are at least as upset as they. A kind gesture would be to applogize and to offer to return the cash gift from the victim of the attack to help toward his expenses. You might consider offering to assist with bail for the assailant, if you believe he should be set temporarily free, with the money received from him. The Sage is reminded that there is a reason some families disallow copious amounts of alcohol at various functions.

3. Our next Seeker wishes to surprise a friend with chemotherapy-induced baldness with a wig made of her own hair.

The Sage sees the beginning of a new trend. After surprising this friend with the unasked gift of new hair, you might surprise another with an unannounced donation of a kidney. While this may be intended as a loving gesture, the element of surprise promises an extremely awkward moment for the recipient.

4. The final Seeker is remiss to visit her distance family, whom she sees as slovenly and whose house she views as unsafe.

The Sage reminds the Seeker that one cannot make another person do something they do not wish to do. You cannot force your family members to come to visit you, nor can you force them to change their ways. If they refuse to visit you, your options are to cut off trips between your homes or to find other accommodations when visiting them. Alternately, accept that a few nights without a smoke detector are unlikely to cause your demise, and that they have lived safely for years with unlocked doors. Portable smoke detectors and travel locks* are an inexpensive investment, relative to the entire cost of your trip.


Monday, October 10, 2011

15 proclamations

The Oracle has taken pity on the younger Seekers and has expandsed a few answers.

1. Those who wait long to tell important news often have other news waiting to be told.

2. There may be more than one way to recover what one has lost. (Make a claim against the auto insurance, and double check with the travel agent about medical emergencies.)

3. Those who feel the world is their oyster often go hungry.

4. Those who risk the lives of others sometimes find their own lives forfeit.

5. Those who hide from the world sometimes are hiding from someone in particular. (Maybe he's married.)

6. Good fortune may be around the corner, provided attractions are mutual.

7. Instability is never a good example for a young child.

8. So it has been said.

9. So it has been said.

10. Far easier it is to blame bad decisions on the innocent than on oneself.

11. Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (Proverbs)

12. It is far better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. (Popular wisdom)

13. So it has been said.

14. Not all cries in the darkness need to be answered.

15. Better late than never. (Chaucer)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Sage returns from a long absence.

The Sage is aghast at the length of absence from this venue, and apologizes to all Seekers who may have wandered, lost, in the Sage's absence.

As many Minions or Seekers may be aware, the locale of the Lesser Seeker will, by the time this missive is perused, completely unavailable for the various Advisors who have frequented that domain for their varied Wisdom. The Sage vows to redouble efforts to dispense wisdom (and lesser Seekers) in this medium on a more regular basis.

The Sage would also direct Seekers to where other Acolytes of the Sage and the Sage's compatriots may unite. Look for the Sage here tomorrow to respond to Thursday's fresh Seekers.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Oracle wipes off a few doormats.

Read these first.

Charlotte: If one feels good about oneself, one wants to look good and to do something nice for oneself.

Santa Cruz: If you point out what she already sees in the mirror, someone is sure to be hurt.

Arlington: Flies notice when honey is available, even if the bees don't notice.

Philadelphia: When the horse is out of the barn and the farmer makes no effort to rein it in, the neighbors can do little to control its behavior.

Omaha: Those who live on the side of a volcano will eventually get burned.

Anon: Those who get a foot in the door are often able to enter and find comfort.

Texas: Those who do not open their mouths are doomed to smell those who do.

Squish: Better a happy homebody than a miserable doormat.

St. Louie: Better a happy ... No, wait, that one has been done. The Oracle yields to the Great Sage.
   Sage: The Great Sage has always been of the understanding that an elopement is generally done in secret, with the announcement of marriage made after the fact. Point this out, and say that you will be willing to host a reception after the fact. Alternately, let your sister dictate how you must live your life and how you must spend your finances at her whims.

Brooklyn: The Sage is not ready to relinquish the podium. Congratulate these individuals on noticing, and inform them that you are performing an experiment to determine how many people will tell you to cheer us.

Friday, March 19, 2010

The Oracle speaks.

The Oracle says, if you cannot envision yourself telling those who care about you of a decision you are about to make, the decision needs to be reconsidered.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Oracle returns

The Oracle and the Great Sage have at last come to an understanding. The Oracle has strongly recommended that the Sage be removed from the Temple and open another blog from the Mystic Cave. The residual flooding from this discussion should recede soon.

The Oracle will now address this week's Seekers.

1. If you marry this man, his behavior will change, but not for the better.

2. If one is a stranger to one's own progeny, then one is only entitled to the same information that would be shared with any other stranger.

3. Even conjoined twins might like separate invitations on occasion.

4. If you press this issue, you will soon know why she is so reluctant, and someone does not wish you to know.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Sage advises a unique Seeker

The Sage is reluctant to take on yet another jilted fiance, but feels that you case is worthy of attention.

The Sage recognizes your hurt and your confusion. Some lesser Advisors might suggest that you find a real dog, as it were, to take up with your former beau, and ensure that he walks in on them. He may then see the consequences of catting around, but I fear that regardless of what you might say or do, he will never change his alley cat behavior. Take solace in the knowledge that even were he to mend his ways, he'll continue to be on the run from the authorities for whatever years he may have left.