The Sage is aghast at the length of absence from this venue, and apologizes to all Seekers who may have wandered, lost, in the Sage's absence.
As many Minions or Seekers may be aware, the locale of the Lesser Seeker will, by the time this missive is perused, completely unavailable for the various Advisors who have frequented that domain for their varied Wisdom. The Sage vows to redouble efforts to dispense wisdom (and lesser Seekers) in this medium on a more regular basis.
The Sage would also direct Seekers to http://www.facebook.com/groups/282963985048855/ where other Acolytes of the Sage and the Sage's compatriots may unite. Look for the Sage here tomorrow to respond to Thursday's fresh Seekers.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Oracle wipes off a few doormats.
Read these first. http://www.slate.com/id/2250610/pagenum/all/#p2
Charlotte: If one feels good about oneself, one wants to look good and to do something nice for oneself.
Santa Cruz: If you point out what she already sees in the mirror, someone is sure to be hurt.
Arlington: Flies notice when honey is available, even if the bees don't notice.
Philadelphia: When the horse is out of the barn and the farmer makes no effort to rein it in, the neighbors can do little to control its behavior.
Omaha: Those who live on the side of a volcano will eventually get burned.
Anon: Those who get a foot in the door are often able to enter and find comfort.
Texas: Those who do not open their mouths are doomed to smell those who do.
Squish: Better a happy homebody than a miserable doormat.
St. Louie: Better a happy ... No, wait, that one has been done. The Oracle yields to the Great Sage.
Sage: The Great Sage has always been of the understanding that an elopement is generally done in secret, with the announcement of marriage made after the fact. Point this out, and say that you will be willing to host a reception after the fact. Alternately, let your sister dictate how you must live your life and how you must spend your finances at her whims.
Brooklyn: The Sage is not ready to relinquish the podium. Congratulate these individuals on noticing, and inform them that you are performing an experiment to determine how many people will tell you to cheer us.
Charlotte: If one feels good about oneself, one wants to look good and to do something nice for oneself.
Santa Cruz: If you point out what she already sees in the mirror, someone is sure to be hurt.
Arlington: Flies notice when honey is available, even if the bees don't notice.
Philadelphia: When the horse is out of the barn and the farmer makes no effort to rein it in, the neighbors can do little to control its behavior.
Omaha: Those who live on the side of a volcano will eventually get burned.
Anon: Those who get a foot in the door are often able to enter and find comfort.
Texas: Those who do not open their mouths are doomed to smell those who do.
Squish: Better a happy homebody than a miserable doormat.
St. Louie: Better a happy ... No, wait, that one has been done. The Oracle yields to the Great Sage.
Sage: The Great Sage has always been of the understanding that an elopement is generally done in secret, with the announcement of marriage made after the fact. Point this out, and say that you will be willing to host a reception after the fact. Alternately, let your sister dictate how you must live your life and how you must spend your finances at her whims.
Brooklyn: The Sage is not ready to relinquish the podium. Congratulate these individuals on noticing, and inform them that you are performing an experiment to determine how many people will tell you to cheer us.
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Oracle speaks.
The Oracle says, if you cannot envision yourself telling those who care about you of a decision you are about to make, the decision needs to be reconsidered.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Oracle returns
The Oracle and the Great Sage have at last come to an understanding. The Oracle has strongly recommended that the Sage be removed from the Temple and open another blog from the Mystic Cave. The residual flooding from this discussion should recede soon.
The Oracle will now address this week's Seekers.
1. If you marry this man, his behavior will change, but not for the better.
2. If one is a stranger to one's own progeny, then one is only entitled to the same information that would be shared with any other stranger.
3. Even conjoined twins might like separate invitations on occasion.
4. If you press this issue, you will soon know why she is so reluctant, and someone does not wish you to know.
The Oracle will now address this week's Seekers.
1. If you marry this man, his behavior will change, but not for the better.
2. If one is a stranger to one's own progeny, then one is only entitled to the same information that would be shared with any other stranger.
3. Even conjoined twins might like separate invitations on occasion.
4. If you press this issue, you will soon know why she is so reluctant, and someone does not wish you to know.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Sage advises a unique Seeker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-vd0s9Da2U
The Sage is reluctant to take on yet another jilted fiance, but feels that you case is worthy of attention.
The Sage recognizes your hurt and your confusion. Some lesser Advisors might suggest that you find a real dog, as it were, to take up with your former beau, and ensure that he walks in on them. He may then see the consequences of catting around, but I fear that regardless of what you might say or do, he will never change his alley cat behavior. Take solace in the knowledge that even were he to mend his ways, he'll continue to be on the run from the authorities for whatever years he may have left.
The Sage is reluctant to take on yet another jilted fiance, but feels that you case is worthy of attention.
The Sage recognizes your hurt and your confusion. Some lesser Advisors might suggest that you find a real dog, as it were, to take up with your former beau, and ensure that he walks in on them. He may then see the consequences of catting around, but I fear that regardless of what you might say or do, he will never change his alley cat behavior. Take solace in the knowledge that even were he to mend his ways, he'll continue to be on the run from the authorities for whatever years he may have left.
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Sage takes on Dumb A.. er, Dear Abby
Since the Oracle has not yet escaped, ... er, that is, returned from .. a um, retreat, the Sage will continue to maintain control of Del-Fly.
Our Seekers may be found here.
1. The Sage recognizes that you are fighting against your baseless jealousies. After all, just because your wife cheated on you before doesn't mean she will again. Naturally, she would not want to cancel her plans to go out with her chums just because you have a rare day off. She has obligations to these other souls which obviously are more important than her obligations to you. You need to develop interests of your own. Find a not-too-young, yet shapely, young sitter to come and stay with your children when she is out. If you don't have plans already, perhaps your babysitter will be able to help something come up.
2. The Sage is appalled that you would shop or bake for hours, and still send such thoughtless gifts. You need to apologize to each of the adults to whom you have sent these obviously unwelcome millstones, and inform them that you shall not be abusing them further. To the children whose parents have fortuitously warned you against encumbering the children with such useless trifles, rest assured that children have no taste, and may yet enjoy these trifles you so laboriously have chosen.
Our Seekers may be found here.
1. The Sage recognizes that you are fighting against your baseless jealousies. After all, just because your wife cheated on you before doesn't mean she will again. Naturally, she would not want to cancel her plans to go out with her chums just because you have a rare day off. She has obligations to these other souls which obviously are more important than her obligations to you. You need to develop interests of your own. Find a not-too-young, yet shapely, young sitter to come and stay with your children when she is out. If you don't have plans already, perhaps your babysitter will be able to help something come up.
2. The Sage is appalled that you would shop or bake for hours, and still send such thoughtless gifts. You need to apologize to each of the adults to whom you have sent these obviously unwelcome millstones, and inform them that you shall not be abusing them further. To the children whose parents have fortuitously warned you against encumbering the children with such useless trifles, rest assured that children have no taste, and may yet enjoy these trifles you so laboriously have chosen.
Belated Sage
The Sage had difficulty convincing the Oracle to step aside this Thursday. If you experienced high wind or high water as a result of this celestial discussion, rest assured that the situation has been resolved.
The Oracle would like to point out to all of this week's Seekers that those who look for something unseemly, are certain to find it.
1. The Sage understands your problem. Begin to call your fiance by the name of an old flame, preferably one he knows you had a serious relationship with. Enlist the assistance of his brother-in-law too, while you are at it. At worst, the four of you can play post office together, and with luck, you can break up two relationships at one time.
2. The Sage knows that lesser Advisors might suggest you put the painting on loan at a local museum, where it can be enjoyed and will be well taken care of. However, the Sage suggests that you hang the picture on a prominent wall with a headshot photo of yourself hanging directly above it. When someone asks if you are the subject of both pictures, you can tell them that you only wish you had a body like that.
3. The Sage believes that you should rectify this situation as soon as possible. This was your golden opportunity to paint yourself in the best light imaginable, while painting her father as the lout which he surely must be. Don't worry whether she might someday discover the truth and hold it against you. She'll just tell your grandchildren that you are dead.
4. The Sage recognizes that this is not about Granny, but about the fact that you are in need of an excuse not to take her shopping any more. When you enter the store, take Granny to the area where she is most likely to graze. Excuse yoursself for a moment on the ruse of collecting your Green shopping bags or some similar excuse. Locate the store's security guard or manager, and point out with horror that "that old woman" is stealing from them. Repeat at each store you take her to. Eventually, she will be banned from buying groceries anywhere, and you can order her supplies on-line to be delivered.
The Oracle would like to point out to all of this week's Seekers that those who look for something unseemly, are certain to find it.
1. The Sage understands your problem. Begin to call your fiance by the name of an old flame, preferably one he knows you had a serious relationship with. Enlist the assistance of his brother-in-law too, while you are at it. At worst, the four of you can play post office together, and with luck, you can break up two relationships at one time.
2. The Sage knows that lesser Advisors might suggest you put the painting on loan at a local museum, where it can be enjoyed and will be well taken care of. However, the Sage suggests that you hang the picture on a prominent wall with a headshot photo of yourself hanging directly above it. When someone asks if you are the subject of both pictures, you can tell them that you only wish you had a body like that.
3. The Sage believes that you should rectify this situation as soon as possible. This was your golden opportunity to paint yourself in the best light imaginable, while painting her father as the lout which he surely must be. Don't worry whether she might someday discover the truth and hold it against you. She'll just tell your grandchildren that you are dead.
4. The Sage recognizes that this is not about Granny, but about the fact that you are in need of an excuse not to take her shopping any more. When you enter the store, take Granny to the area where she is most likely to graze. Excuse yoursself for a moment on the ruse of collecting your Green shopping bags or some similar excuse. Locate the store's security guard or manager, and point out with horror that "that old woman" is stealing from them. Repeat at each store you take her to. Eventually, she will be banned from buying groceries anywhere, and you can order her supplies on-line to be delivered.
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